Play It Again, Sam

So lately I've been dreaming about spending the night in a hotel.  By myself.  Alone.

Is that bad?  Does it make me a selfish person, to not want to serve anyone?  Or answer any of the bazillion, trillion questions that are asked of me by my children on a daily basis, like...

What's for breakfast?  What are we doing today?  Are we almost there yet?  Why did you say SHIT when that person cut you off in traffic?  How come you get to say SHIT, and I don't?  Can we have computer time?  When can we have computer time?  Why do I HAVE to ride my bike while you run?  Will you help me tie my shoes?  Can I have a snack?  Will you make it for me?  Where's my water bottle?  Is it just too much for you having 5 kids, Mom?   What's for dinner?   Can we watch a PG-13 movie that is really scary, cause Dad said it's okay?  Can I sleep in the floor of your bedroom, cause I watched a PG-13 movie, cause Dad said it was okay?  Mommy, why do you drink so much wine?

 AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!

You know how you sometimes dream what your life would be like, if there were no boundaries?  Like if someone gave you a free-pass to be and do WHATEVER you wanted?  Well, here are my ridiculously, frivolous dreams.  Don't get me wrong:  I totally appreciate my very blessed life...but walk with me for just a minute...

 Live in Europe for an unlimited period of time. I would stay in youth hostels, and travel by taxi and Euro rail and participate in several other extremely dangerous adventures, being a young and stupid American.  I would sip espresso and go to famous museums, and ride my bike through the French countryside.  I would meet up and make friends with a winemaker, who, upon seeing my un-tapped talent for making wine, would teach me how to cultivate and grow grapes.  We would then sip this delicious concoction that we made, in the middle of the day as we lounged by the pool, in a Tuscan villa.  Our biggest worry would be simply this:  re filling our glass.  I would return home only, after drinking wine to my hearts content, or getting my fanny pack stolen.

Have 2 kids. Just to see what it would be like. Like to deliver one baby at a time.  Like to have one hand for each child.  One parent for each kid.    Have enough time and energy to actually give one on one time for each child.  Big sigh,  Followed by an extreme amount of mommy guilt.  Okay, moving on...

Work full time.  in my dream job, as a counselor.  So that I, with all of my damaged goods, could help others with their damaged goods.  So I could have a job, and feel like I'm contributing to my family in a monetary sorta way, while helping others find their way.  I'm thinking that the drive to and from work without anyone else in my car, (especially those under the age of 11), wouldn't be so bad either.

Start a GIRL POWER movement, that sweeps the WORLD...where girls and women alike feel empowered to say WHAT they want, WHEN they want, without worrying about what anyone else THINKS!  A world where every girl and woman embraces their body,  for what it can DO and how STRONG we are, and not solely based on what we look like!  A world where we are free to embrace our strengths and not question them.  To accept ourselves lovingly for all of our many flaws, instead of beating ourselves up!

Shop for clothing, shoes, purses, and accessories.  Oh wait, if you read my last blog, you know that I don't wear accessories.  And my snack bag doubles as my purse.   My shoes are for running.  And my other pair of shoes is flip-flops.  But this is my PRETEND life, silly!  Having the time and money to actually find outfits that compliment my figure that match, and flow.  VS buying my underwear at Costco next to the book section.  I have to have these clothes now that I'm working full-time, dontcha know?

Complete a marathon or climb Mt.Everest.  These two things are kind of one in the same to me.  It will never happen is this life, because truth be told, I don't really WANT to do either of them.  But in my pretend life, I would have countless hours to train.  I would be in the most AMAZING shape.  Like those crazy ass Cirque du Soleil acrobats, who support a full sized man with their pinkie, while riding a tricycle across a high wire that is on fire. I would also settle for having arms that resemble Madonna's guns.

P!NK, Oprah, Maya Angelou and I would hang out regularly.  My boyfriend, Hugh Jackman, would empty the dishwasher.  Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and Jesus would make special trips from Heaven, and we would drink brewskis as we contemplate how to change the world.

Marry Tom Walsh Super Genius.  Have an insane amount of kids.  Live simply.  Love deeply.  Practice more patience.   Recognize that at times, I am an un-paid counselor. Realize that I can start my own girl power movement with my own clan.  Pray more regularly. Appreciate simplicity.

Yep, I think that about covers it.