Call me passive aggressive. Or crabby. Or just plain unethical. It's okay. Sticks and stones...
The H if...I will pay full price for my four year old to go to the movies. When the attendant asks how many, I reply, 3 kids, 1 adult, as I push Cosette between my legs to be left unseen. If there are any follow up questions, my reply is this, "What? This one here? Oh, she's just 2 years old. Yep, she's really tall for her age."
The same stands true in any situation that I view as Redonkulous. For example, when checking in at a pool to pay with my girlfriend and her 2 kids, the sweet little 16 year old behind the counter asked, "How many families? One or two?" Please note, one family costs $25, and two families cost $50. Without a moment's hesitation, I said, "Just one. We are a lesbian couple, and this is our beautiful family," then I pointed at my swollen belly, and finished up, "Sperm donors...each and every one of them."
The H if...I will be told specifically what type of glue stick to purchase for Kindergarten. Are you kidding me?! I just spent 100 bucks for 4 kids on school supplies, and you will graciously accept what my child is bringing in....Do you know what it is like to go Back To School shopping with 4 kids? DO YOU? DO YOU? You requested Avery glue sticks, and received the Office Max brand...deal with it.
The H if...I will let someone give me shit for wearing 6 inch heels. It only took me 30 years, and thousands of dollars in therapy, to OWN my height and frame. So when a person has the balls to ask, "You're 5'11, why are you wearing stiletto's while you do your grocery shopping?" My reply is simply this: "Because I can."
The H if...I will ever let my girls conceive the notion that a 6 foot, 117 pound fashion model is normal! I would love to see one of these "women" in real life. Can we be honest here? I weigh in at a healthy 150 pounds (when not with child). So imagine, 30 pounds less on my frame...REALLY? This is desirable? Achievable? Beautiful? THE HELL IF....
The H if...a nanny should have more control over your children than YOU do. An acquaintance just recently shared with me, that she paid for a nanny to accompany their family while on vacation to Europe. Cool... I thought. Nice...a date night with hubby at the Eiffel Tower...drinking wine in Tuscany, sipping espresso while appreciating amazing artwork....all without kids. Then she said, "I had to bring the nanny because my kids just don't mind me." You would have been so proud. I didn't even reply. Just smiled and nodded.
I love your blogs......I recently took my kids along with 2 friends kids to the new water park in fremont. No they do not have adult and kids prices. No they have general admission and Junior prices. If you are over 48" you pay full price. WTF the 7 year olds were to scared to go down the water slide. SO for $16.00 each they swam around the Lazy river. Oh ya and no hiding them they have a height chart in front that they make all the kids stand under. They wonder why no one goes there! Erin
ReplyDeleteOh ya and the glue stick thing...I am with you Roseart works just as well as the elemers. If you want elemers buy it yourself!!!!!!!!! Erin
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