One Perfect Moment in Time

I was parked on the couch, Charlotte nursing lazily before her mid afternoon nap, and I had this moment of clarity:  THIS is what life is all about.

It was like one perfect moment of time, when I was aware and fully present to what was happening around me.

As I gazed out my front window, I watched our two little Japanese Maples sway in the warm,, September breeze.  Have you noticed the slight difference in the weather these days?  A bit cooler in the morning and evening, but still warm and pleasant in the afternoon.  No, Fall hasn't arrived quite yet.

 But Summer is starting to pack up, like most of us do after a full day at the beach.  First by collecting and shaking out sandy towels, then by clearing the garbage from the cooler, next searching aimlessly for flip flops, before finally, gathering exhausted, but content, kids to hit the road for home.

Yes, Summer is on its way out.   And the Earth smells like hope. A fresh beginning.  A new chance.

I held that babe tightly, knowing full well, she won't want or need me in this physical way for much longer.  With my feet propped up on the coffee table, I observed Cosette swinging back and forth, methodically on our tree swing.  Pumping herself forward, feet pointed out strong and stiff, and then back,  feet pulled towards her bum.  Back and forth, back and forth.  How many times has Cozy swung like that, and I haven't noticed? Today I noticed.

Emma sat at the kitchen table, sucking a strawberry smoothie through a straw for snack, while contemplating her homework.  Emma, with glasses perched on the tip of her nose, and loose braids dangling at her shoulders, which had been tight that morning.  Self-motivated Emma, wanting to get it all correct, and leave no answers blank.  How many times has Ms. Emma been overlooked by the sheer size of our family?  Today she  was not overlooked.

We have invented this thing called "Family Fun Fridays".  But what it should really be called is "We're Too Tired to do ANYthing but Lay in the Fetal Position Fridays".  It turns out that the girls are just as exhausted, if not more so, come Friday, than Mom and Dad.  It's like, we all let out a collective sigh of relief.  Whew,  "we made it through the week."

On Friday, there is no rush through homework, to get to dinner, to take a shower, to read, to get to bed, because we have to do it again the next day.  No.   Friday represents, eating a leisurely dinner, while watching Charlie try to catch those darn rabbits out back as they scurry just out of her reach.  We have been ending our Fridays cuddled up on the couch, taking in a movie together, while munching on home made popcorn.

Last Sunday, we took an amazing hike through Henry Cowell Park in the Santa Cruz mountains.  As we descended beneath the protective Redwood tree canopy, and hit the trail that follows the creek, full of gorgeous green ferns, and rocks that have been there since the beginning of time,  Bella blurted out, "THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED, MOM.   I just needed all this...GREEN."

I looked at her, nodding my head in complete agreement, and said, "Me too, babe.  Me too."

It got me to thinking, this one moment of clarity, it did.

How much time have I wasted in the past planning, talking, or worrying about the future: which could be the next 5 minutes or the next 5 years?  And how much time have I wasted spent in regret over what didn't go right in the past: which could be the past 5 minutes, or the last 39 years?  So I've come to a decision:  ENOUGH OF THAT WASTING TIME, BUSINESS.

God whispered into my ear today, and do you want to know what he said?  "Pssst...hey Michelle, pay attention.  THIS is what it's about."