My Anti-Gravity Chair

I made one of the best decisions in my life last week.  I mean, it's right up there with deciding where to go to college:  Chico State, baby! And who to marry:  Tom Walsh, Super Genius, of course.  I'm talking THAT big, people.  Life changing stuff.  I purchased an anti-gravity chair from Costco.  When these contraptions first came out several years ago, they were an outrageous amount of money...like $200 bucks.  I got mine for $39.99...I likey.

Looking ahead to what the summer will bring me...four high energy kids, hot and sticky weather, the belly the size of a  patio table, and lower back pain that will most likely drive me to my knees, it seemed like a no-brainer.  Anti-gravity chair, YOU are the answer to all of my problems.

Just this morning, Midnight, our girl bunny got out.  No big deal.  UNTIL I found the ginormous burrow she had dug under our fence leading to the sewers of Willow Glen.  "Oh shit," I thought to myself, "How am I going to break this horrific news to my 7 year old?" 

As fear and panic started to fill my body, I looked across the yard. There I saw a sight to behold...did I locate the lost bunny, you ask?  No, nothing like that.  BETTER.   There resting in the most sunny spot in my yard,  stood my anti-gravity chair.  Calming me, soothing me, beckoning me to come, sit down awhile. 

I was catapulted back into reality when my 4 year old belted out,  "MIIIIIIDIIIIGHT...where are YOU?  Did you get eaten by a HAWK?  If you don't come out and are hiding from mommy, she's going to make Bunny STEW out of YOU."  I don't know where she comes up with these things.  Really.  Okay, maybe I have somewhat of an idea.

Anyhoo, here's my point.  Simple things make me happy.  I have found solace in my anti-gravity chair.  I'm not even sure words can quite express how happy it makes me feel.  I invite you then, to come and experience the magic of my chair for yourself.  Just understand one thing:  there's a 5 second rule, and then you have to get up, so I can have it back.  What do you mean that is selfish?!  That's my version of "sharing".

By the way, for those of you "animal lovers" out there, Midnight finally showed up.  But I'm pretty sure she was out scouting Lincoln Avenue.  I'm sure she made a stop at Starbucks for a  Carmel latte, and then hopped down to Powells Candy Shop for a Charleston Chew.  On her way home, I'm willing to bet she had the nerve to stop at Aqui's for an "Industrial Strength Margarita", that little tramp.  She nearly gave me a heart attack. 

And so I would like to take this opportunity to thank the one thing that kept my sanity for me:   anti-gravity chair, I love you.  Thank you for keeping it real.

Midnight, you are SO on my shit list, right now.