My Justice League of M.I.L.F.S.

These days, I'm not quite sure if I am a MILF or a GILF, considering my 23 year old stepdaughter is "with child" also. Strange isn't it? Like some Steve Martin movie we all watched back in the 90's called "Father of The Bride"...except it's no movie this time; it's my life, people. Welcome to the Discovery Channel: The Inside Life of the Procreating Walsh Family.

So again, I pose the question: am I a MILF or a GILF? Perhaps, I'm a Cougar, or maybe a Bobcat? But these standards are always changing, so maybe I'm a Puma?

Or do I fall into some obscure acronym category that has yet to be officially named? Like F.L.F.B.O.A.H.R.M.W.D.A.L.T.M.W.I.W.S.I.C.P., short for: "Fun Loving, Fertile, But Overwhelmed, At-Home Running Mom, Who Drinks A Little Too Much, Which is Why She Is Continually Pregnant".

But here's the truth Ruth: a girl's gotta have her girlfriends! When we tire of our monotonous lives that consist of raising children, buying random birthday gifts for some PUMP IT UP party on the weekend, volunteering at school, and "pleasing" our husbands (my specialty), we need a RELEASE!

And this is where girlfriends come in. Women get women. We can say a thousand words with a gesture. But there are also times we need to verbally vomit AND use gestures...WITHOUT ANYONE TRYING TO FIX IT. Husbands, you dig?

This calls for the Girl's Night Out. A time that we actually shower and apply make-up, drink excessive amounts of alcohol, and usually attempt to dance. In my own mind, I am Beyonce while I'm on the dance floor. Who are you?

As women, it is extremely important to play on each other's strengths. For example, when we hit a bar with a particularly long line, we send the HAWT friend to "talk" to the bouncer. (Tiffeny) If we want free drinks, we get the "fun loudmouth" to step up to the plate.(Ella) I've seen that girl get more free ROUNDS of drinks than anyone I know. If you want to get up onstage with Alan Jackson, make sure you have your FEARLESS friend, and I don't say that lightly. (Erin) If you need a shoulder to cry on, go to the caring ones of the group. (Nikki, Marylynn) If you want to stay out of jail, make sure your probation officer friend has your back. (Alyson) If you need to leap a building in a single bound, get ol' long legs to help you out. (I have no torso, but I do got myself some gams).

Like I was saying before, Girl's Night Out is a release. We remember who we were before we took on these huge responsibilities of "Family" and "Wife". We don't have to serve anyone goldfish, hand out sippy cups, or make anyone dinner. Instead, for a mere few hours, we feel carefree. Supported by our Justice League of MILFS.

It makes us feel ALIVE, even if we feel DEAD when little ones show up at the bedside the next morning with requests for breakfast. Only 25 more weeks til I can get my drink on.

So I got one question: who's planning the Girl's Night for October? Well, maybe November would be a bit more realistic...OR NOT.