Box Tops and Walk A Thons

Three of my four lovely girls are attending a high achieving academic elementary school that shall remain nameless. Let's just call it "The Cult", for reader purposes, shall we? "The Cult" is TERRIFIC for self-starters, engineer-types, fit- the-mold kids. But if you, like me, have got twins with learning disabilities, you are screwed... more on this later.

School stuff makes me CRAZY! Library days, sharing days, book reports on a different genre each month, along with a diarama depicting a scene from the book in a shoebox, collecting Box Tops, and walking an insane amount of miles in the annual Walk-A-Thon each year, are just some of the dates/forms/activities, as parents, we are supposed to "remember".

Let me tell you how I have learned to cope with all of this mumbo jumbo. PUT THE DAMN KIDS IN CHARGE OF REMEMBERING, 'cause after I pushed out twins, I can't recall what I ate for breakfast this morning. It seems to be working out okay, except on the few mornings when I get the frantic, teary phone call that goes, "Moooom, do you see my, my, my library book(sniff, sniff)about horses (sniff)on the counter?" "Yes, I do. But you forgot it, so you'll have to tell your teacher that you can't check out a book this week." Harsh? Noooooo. Lesson learned. One thing I DO NOT want to be as a parent, is an enabler. I much prefer the Mommy Dearest role.

As far as the annual, ALL DAY event, known as the Walk-A-Thon? I pack in a flask, a cooler full of beer, a blanket, and some face paint. But everything comes at a price. If the kids want their faces painted, little ones need to walk 5 miles, and big ones, need to tally at least 10 miles. I like to inspire them, and by that time, I also have a nice buzz going. I even had some kids walk up with five dollar bills, asking, "How much does this cost?" I should have said, "Go back to your mom and ask for five more dollars."

Let me explain my position a bit. I was a Sixth Grade teacher. I GET kids, I GET teachers. I GET the school system, and all of the political BS that comes along with it. I GET fundraisers, and selling insane amounts of cookie dough at an overpriced cost, so that a fifth grader can go to Science Camp. Although I may gripe and complain, I am completely supportive of my girls education.

What I DON'T get, is how we are failing to meet our kids halfway academically. Not every child is an academic genius...but it doesn't mean they are not talented, or gifted, or amazing! The problem is the school just can't measure their "amazingness" because they don't fit the mold. And so my frustration is this...

Back to School Night at "The Cult", last year went something kind of like this:

Teacher: "Your 3rd grader needs to have their multiplication facts MEMORIZED in 2 months time, so your child can SUCCEEEEEED in third grade. I should be able to call your house at 2am, and ask your child, what is 8x7?"

Me: "You're fucking kidding, right? I don't even know what 8x7 is."

I have come to some really important realizations through this process. Parent-teacher communication is HUGE. I need to feel okay to let my daughter's teacher know, that 2 hours into HW, my daughter turned into a pumpkin, and so it's not "complete". The teacher needs to be on board, and accepting of this fact. And I, the Doer/List Maker/Checker Offer, have learned that it's okay not to have it all done, also. It's humbling really.

Because, at the end of the day, with all my heart, and soul, and being, this is what I believe: we are raising our girls to be caring, sensitive, genuine, lovely little people, and THAT is a lot more important than 8x7.