Therapy 101

My motto is "If you're not in therapy, there's something wrong with you."

I understand this is not the "norm", but I'm all about growth people, digging deep, and living large. What is the point in this journey we call life, if we're not living it with the full intention to be our best while we are here? What's up with "just going through the motions"? I'm not saying that I wake up everyday, springing out of bed, singing to the heavens...but I'm just sayen.

My journey with therapy began after I lost over 110 pounds. I was 30 years old, with 3 healthy, beautiful little girls, an amazing husband, and yet, something was off. I wasn't truly happy. I had lost all this weight, I had this amazing life... now what? Why aren't I happy? Aren't I supposed to be happy? Well, I'm not happy dammit, so what the hell is wrong with me?

Almost immediately,I became distinctly aware of something huge. Oprah would call this an "A-HA" moment. In our society, we are constantly bombarded with body objectification. It comes in all forms: toys, magazines, radio, movies, and TV. And it starts young. Exhibit A: Barbie. That damn whore. She's the one who put me IN therapy. Even now, I have a hard time, handing Barbies to my girls, because my internal mind is saying, "Here you go honey. Play with Barbie. An unobtainable image of something you could NEVER look like. Go ahead, have fun now."

I mean, haven't you ever been mindlessly flipping through the TV, when suddenly, you stop dead in your tracks, because you think you've stumbled upon the adult porn channel? Remembering you don't pay for that channel, you realize it's just a commercial for KFC, with a woman's luscious, red lips devouring a drumstick, while she licks her mouth, and moans? She has no body, she has no head, she's a MOUTH. She's a mouth eating a drumstick in a very sexual manner. They are not selling drumsticks; they are selling SEX.

Or how about a magazine ad "selling a purse." It may look kind of like this: a woman's body, with her legs spread, in some sexual position, with no head, no face, NO WORTH. Just legs, and breasts, and if you look REALLY hard, the purse will be in the ad somewhere... maybe. If you don't believe me, the next time you're in line at the grocery store, pull down a Cosmo, and check it out. SCARY!!!

As young girls, tweens, and teens, we are bombarded with it...constantly. "Must look a certain way to be accepted."  Forget that the model you're looking at is 6 feet tall, weighs 115 pounds, and is photo-shopped beyond belief.  She doesn't exist because she isn't REAL.  And with YouTube, the Internet, and Facebook, young teens have the ability to bully others on a level that my generation never had to worry about.  But my daughters will.

 I'm going out on a ledge here when I say, I believe it affects boys differently. They grow up thinking, women are sexual dynamos, who should and will be ready at all times, to get it on. Or at least, LOOK like they're ready to get it on.

How did I handle my own insecurities growing up? I dove into sports, and school activities with wild abandon because that made me "feel good." But when that wasn't enough anymore, and my self-esteem began to plummet, I thought bulimia was a better option. I am appalled when I think back to that time in my life... I really believed that sticking my finger down my throat was a better option than accepting myself.

Well, let me tell you something: learning to love myself completely took A LOT of time, patience, and thousands of dollars in counseling :) But I have vowed to NEVER go back.

 I am done beating myself up. I am done with thinking I'm not good enough. I am done thinking all people need to like me...I'm not saying there still aren't days that I struggle, because I do.

I'm saying that celebrating my body for what it can DO, and not solely for what it LOOKS like
is FREEING!

The saggy little boobies that I have now? Hey, those boobies breast fed four amazing babies. The muffin top that is lined with silver stretchmarks, reaching from my buttocks to my neck? Hey man, I worked hard for those. I don't want some plastic surgeon to "erase" what I've accomplished.

The most important nugget of "self-discovery" that I have learned in this therapeutic process is this:  accepting myself for all of my natural gifts is really easy. But loving and accepting myself for all of my flaws and imperfections is MUCH harder, but SO worth it!

We are ALL perfectly flawed.