Don't fret: I am going somewhere with this. I'm Rocky and I'm doing battle with The Russian, ie: all of my health stuff. I feel like I'm training for the fight of my life. Along with all of my regular "Mama / Wife / WW Leader" responsibilities, I am supposed to keep myself healthy. Where's the time, man? Where's the time?
You probably get your teeth cleaned every 6 months, right? Not me: I have receding gums. I have tooth sensitivity. I grind the hell out of my niblets. Therefore, I have a regular dental cleaning every 4 months. I bet your bottom dollar, by the time I'm 45, I'll be in there every week. I love my dentist, but when she puts that damn camera in my mouth so I can see what she sees up on the big screen, I seriously want to cut her. I want to shout out,"YES!! I BRUSH TWICE A DAY! YES!! I FLOSS TOO!! I don't know why there's so much plaque and tartar build up...(sniff, sniff) I'm just so tired, Dr.Ra. I'll see you next week when you fix that CRACKED tooth 'cause I GRIND." I should just leave my check book at that place.
Exercise? No problemo! But going to see my O.B. for my regular pap smear? Not so much. Don't get my wrong: I love Dr.C. But I can think of about 1 million other things I could do with my time, than having her inspect my cervix with her gigantic eyelash curler-looking, speculum. I mean, I JUST had a BABY a YEAR ago. Didn't they do I Pap while I was in labor? C'mon, let's knock this stuff out people!!
I also need to have my skin checked. But Kaiser make you see your regular doctor FIRST, so that doctor can then refer you to a Dermatologist. I feel like I need to go into that initial appointment with an Oscar worthy performance, convincing her I have Melanoma. All... so she'll refer me.
You'll be proud to know I set up both my OB and Oscar performance for the same day next month. It only took a year of me thinking about it to actually come into fruition. During that year, by the way, yet another health issue has presented itself: a varicose vein has seemed to pop up on my OTHER leg. So guess what? I had an ultrasound for that yesterday.
I have an appointment to find out the results of that ultrasound with Dr.Hot next week. And I'm hoping to God he says that there's a blockage or something life threatening. Well, not really. But I want that sucker GONE, and Kaiser doesn't do "cosmetic" surgery. CURSE YOU Kaiser! I may just have to go for 2 Oscar worthy winning performances. I must convince Dr.Hot that my life is in jeopardy so he removes that vein.
Which reminds me, I need to have my eyes checked. Maybe I can knock that out on the same day. I'm just so tired, (sniff, sniff), so tired.
