Life in Walsh Land just continues to roll. Well, unless you consider that there was an attempted kid-napping of a 16 year old girl by some asshole using a Tazer gun on MY street last Friday. Yep, you read that right.
While most parents were left feeling scared out of their minds by this, I was filled with complete and utter RAGE. I felt violated. I felt that MY children were hurt, because of this child's physical harm. That 16 year old belongs to HER folks, and ME and YOU! Because they are ALL our babies. No matter if we grew them in our wombs or not. And I'll be damned, if I will let some asshole (who's 5'7, hispanic, 200 lbs, and driving a small red compact car) take my girls childhood from them! Simply put, I refuse to live in fear of what "may" happen, and I pray for protection over all children to keep them safe.
I did what any Mama would: scared the ever loving shit out of the twins with the story. These girls need to know what's going on in our hood...especially because they bike to and from school everyday together. It left me thinking...should I start driving them? Should I get them cell phones? Should I start home-schooling? Okay, so I never really had that last thought because I'm far too selfish, but it made me sound like a really invested parent, didn't it?
But after discussing the situation with Tom at length, we came to the same conclusion: life in our home shall remain the same. Riding bikes out front, climbing the rope on the Magnolia Tree, and jumping on the trampoline. Because before I know what hit me, my girls will be gone. And I don't want them to miss out on any of it.
That cute, big headed, red haired baby, is quickly approaching toddler hood. She walks, swaggering side to side, her noggin often dipped down into her chest, barely dodging the occasional passerby or piece of furniture. She sort of resembles a drunk person, who's on the verge of passing out. In fact, just the other day during pick up at school, as Charlie swayed her way across the black top, a 5th grade boy weighing at least 110 lbs, ran right into her. That poor kid, he never even saw her, and felt horrible. As Charlotte howled the injustice of having her head smack the pavement, I assured the boy, it wasn't his fault. My leash with Charlie is a bit long, And truth be told, I give that baby 6 months before she has the run of the place.
I even speak to her now just like she's an ACTUAL, real live person. No more baby talk.
"Charlie, you want to help me make smoothies for snack?" I ask.
"YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!" she shouts, followed by her boozey side step towards the fridge to gather the necessary goods. I just keep adding healthy stuff to the girls after-school snack-smoothies, and my kids have like NO idea: protein powder, flax meal, and some Emergen C going on, camouflaged by juice and frozen fruit. I sort of feel like a chemist...but I failed Chemistry in high school. Rut Ro. I hope I don't kill my offspring with possibly posionous, "healthy" combinations. Charlotte sucks down those smoothies through the straw like it's crack.
Speaking of crack, I do believe I should invent an "adult" smoothie. Why should we limit THC solely to lemon pound cake and brownies? Foxy, watch out. Next time I come up after your Chemo, I'm going to concoct a loaded smoothie. You will also start speaking like a Rastafarian and wearing tye-dye. Yeah mon.
Charlotte "communicates" by verbalizing the following phrases over, and over, and OVER again:
"YAY!" which is usually followed by,"Oh Wow!," and then "Wat happened?" and finally, "MOM????!!! MOM?! MOM?!!!"
Initially, I thought my baby was just looking for me in the house, and so so my reply, "What baby???? What? Mama's right here." By the way, I'm still confused as to why we refer to ourselves in the third person when talking to our children.
After she finds me applying make-up in the bathroom, cooking dinner in the kitchen, or simply hiding out from her behind the Lazy Boy chair, she continues, "MOM??? MOM???!!!"
I scream back, "WHAT?!! WHAT?!!!" to which she says, "MOM!!! MOM?!!"
That's when I start "pretending" I no longer hear her...just kidding.
Not really.
Charlotte is stingy with her smooches, but displays her affection in the oddest way. She will place her head on my lap, again somewhat resembling a drunkard, and nuzzle that large dome in between my legs. And let me tell you ...I'll take that love any way I can get it. Sweet, growing up fast, lil baby.
Cosette is plugging along, while successfully driving me to drink more everyday. Cozy has a lot of energy, no boundaries, and a ton of love to give out. And she will gladly deliver it to anyone who's in her path whether they've asked or not: family, friends, and on occasion, complete strangers.
Most of you already know that we decided to have Cosette repeat Kinder this year, as she just turned 6 in August.
I don't know if you've had a kid in Kindergarten lately, but I swear they are hazing these kids. You will only graduate with the OTHER Kindergartners, when you complete reading, and write a dissertation on Jane Eyre, can solve various equations using 3.14, and drive a car on the freeway without killing ANYone. Oh, and you have to know how to cut and paste too. Sharing is also important.
Seriously, Kindergarten is NOT for wimps these days. Tom and I along with the guidance of her teacher, felt that another year would give us more indication if she was immature, had a learning challenge, had ADD, or ALL of the above.
It's just like Forest Gump said, "Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get."
Fast forward to March 2012, Kinder Chapter 2: Cosette is not grasping concepts like she should at this point in time. And her attention span? Little to none. Like Zilch. Nada. I try to keep my cool, but I feel a bit frustrated and frazzled, when I tell her no less than 28 times to finish her dinner...brush her teeth...flush the toilet after she has had a BM. You may think I'm exaggerating. But if you've ever set foot in my house, you know I'm speaking the truth.
After meeting with Cozy's current Kinder teacher, we both agreed that she will definitely need "extra support" in first grade. That's code for: an IEP or 504 Plan. For those of you not familiar with these terms, an IEP and 504 Plans are code for: accomodations and modifications to help my Cozy learn more easily. Which is really just code for: GOOD TEACHING METHODOLOGY that should be going on in the classroom for ALL kids anyways.
With that being said, I find it completely unnecessary to have her tested through the district to put this in place for several reasons:
1. I have to fight tooth and nail to have it done because it costs them money. Been there, done that.
2. The testing process, itself, is long and arduous. Surely, it will exhaust, an already, exhausting child.
3. Even with testing completed, Cosette will most likely test low, but not LOW enough to actually determine she needs services.
Having prior experience with this scenario, I'm placing my money on a medical diagnosis. This is what SAVED us with Isabella. Recognizing that Cosette will most likely be diagnosed with ADHD, I'm game for getting her medicated, and getting her plan in place for school in that fashion.
Before anyone goes casting stones, I have seen first hand how much, and how far Bella has come with the drug known as Adderall. She is able to focus, and try new things. All of this, while still pushing her sister's buttons....amazing.
In all seriousness, I often wonder how many adults, who never got properly diagnosed, have gone their entire lives by self-medicating with drugs and alcohol. When maybe, they just needed some extra support, and the correct meds to help them balance out?
And quite frankly, I can totally see the future with Cosette in prison. We need help NOW.
It is WEIRD to recognize how much I have changed regarding the meds in the last 2 years, but it's true. And I'll say it loud and proud: medicate my kids if will help them learn, aid with focus, and keep their self-esteem intact. Believe me, I tried hugging trees and singing Cumbaya, and it didn't work. More deets regarding Cozy to follow.
Emma is rocking 4th grade. She is extremely studious, totally on it, and I'm convinced, she will one day be the President of the United States. Often, I look at Emma and wonder, how did YOU come out of ME?
Emma and I are participating in Girls on the Run together, where she is training to run a 5K in May. On my very first day coaching, we sat in our circle, making introductions. I took in 27sweet, little faces: Booksin girls in third, fourth, and fifth grades, who in just 10 short weeks, would be completing a 3.1 mile run. I mean, HOW COOL IS THAT?
But the program is not solely about the running. The lesson plans revolve around issues like: positive self-talk, recognizing and knowing what to do with emotions, and visualization. Yes, you read all of that right. I mean, this is stuff I'm teaching ADULTS at Weight Watchers. Who knows? If Girls on the Run would have been around in the 70's and 80's, I would have saved thousands in therapy. I highly recommend this program to ALL girls to teach them simply this: Power to the She. And yes, I totally stole that mantra from Athleta...who is a sponsor of GOTR, by the way.
Abby and Bella have come into their own in Middle School. They have become quite responsible by riding their bikes to and from school, completing their homework without me nagging them, and helping out with Charlie.
Just recently, the twins were contemplating playing Spring Basketball. After both completing try-outs, Bella came to a life-altering decision at the breakfast table:
"Mom, I'm just not feeling it right now. I don't really want to play basketball. I've got too much going on."
I wanted to be supportive of her choice, "Okay Bella, I will send Coach an email. But today you need to explain that this is your last practice." I am trying to teach the girls the importance of verbalizing their feelings, "Just tell Coach how you feel, and see what he says."
By this point, Abby had ceased eating her pancakes. This was a news flash to her. Recognizing that she was processing this new information, I asked,
"Abby, how does this make you feel?" (Can you tell we've had lots of counseling?)
"Well, I just feel really... alone... knowing Bella won't be there with me," she answered with an almost inaudible voice, "I mean, we just know what the other one is going to do. She passes me the ball, and I pass it to her."
Silence. What does a Mama say to that? My heart broke a little.
"Abby, I can see why you feel a little anxious and scared to play without your sister. But this is one of those times, when you guys are going to choose differently, and that's okay. Does that make sense?"
"Yeah," long pause,"I guess," she said, not completely convinced that I knew what I was talking about.
Long story short, we ended up opting out of Spring Basketball. Practices are held Mondays and Wednesdays SMACK DAB in the middle of the afternoon during the fun-filled, responsibility-free, months known as June and July. After explaining this, I assured Abby that we would do it if she wanted to, but this was really going to screw up our fun. Just kidding.
Not really.
Abby, with a maturity not quite fitting her age just yet, replied, "I totally get it Mom. Let's just chill this summer and relax. I really like not having to be anywhere. I'm actually totally fine with it. I'll play basketball in the Fall."
Sometimes when my kids say stuff, I have just learned to shut up, and listen.
As Charlie would say, "Oh Wow."
