Cosette sleepily stumbled to the table on Monday morning after Spring Break. A stack of hot cinnamon french toast beckoned her to dig in, but not before she looked up wearily, and yawned.
"Mama, when's it gonna be Friday?" she asked. Not soon enough, baby.
Spring Break 2012 was fun, but the Walsh clan didn't do anything exceptional. We just sorta rode the wave, you know? Several peeps that I know and love, planned trips to the Magic Kingdom, beautiful Santa Barbara, and even sunny Hawaii.
The highlight of our week was when I took the Biggies to watch Titanic in 3D on the big screen. I mean, we've had "the talk" and all, but it's another thing to see Jack and Rose getting it on, ya dig? So when the camera flashed to the sweaty, panting, and amorous couple holding eachother after they sealed the deal, Bella leaned over and whispered loudly, "Mom...why are Jack and Rose so sweaty?"
I kept a straight face, and answered the way any responsible parent would, "They were intimate, honey." That was met with a blank stare. I followed with, "Jack and Rose made love." Bella sorta turned away in disgust.
The next day, I was determined to bring those girls out into the outdoors for a hike on Harwood, but Mother Nature was not having it. We loaded up the truck, and started to drive, as rain spattered against the windshield. Still, I remained hopeful.
"Mom, it's raining. We can't hike now!" Abby explained. It sounded like a chorus, all the girls chiming in, "Yeah Mom. It looks like it's just not going to work out."
Errrr. My offspring did have a legitimate point. But they had been indoors for 48 hours, and I was just a hair away from being institutionalized. I succumbed to Plan B: the library...on a Friday...during Preschool Story Hour.
Holy Mother of God. I can't believe I used to take the twins WILLINGLY to that story hour. Like I utilized free will, and enjoyed doing so in the process. I have never seen so many unruly munchkins in all my life. Well, I mean, unless you count my own kids. But who could blame them? No one had seen the light of day due to the rain in over 2 days, and well...the noise level, I'm convinced would rival a Metallica concert.
As we wandered back to the truck, half deaf, I thought, "It has GOT to be Happy Hour." Nope, as luck would have it, still only 10:30 AM. Damn.
We headed back home, and a window of clear skies opened up. I welcomed that warm sunshiney weather with open arms, by promptly yelling at my kids, "OUTSIDE NOW!!! Go jump on the trampoline. Or climb the Magnolia tree. ANYTHING...just do it outside." Now, that's what I call effective parenting right there. You won't read about that tactic in any book, but it works. The key: yelling really LOUDLY, while you furrow your brow, like you're on the edge. I don't even have to pretend anymore.
Speaking of effective Parenting 101...just recently I hopped onto the Parent Portal to discover that one of my children, who shall remain nameless, had failed to turn in several Reading Logs.
Tom and I agree on what we consider to be the most important value regarding education: we ask that our girls put forth their best effort in everything that they do. But our way of handling the situation differs a bit, as is shown by the following conversation that took place with our child.
Me: "I see here that you are missing several reading logs. This is not okay." Silence. I decided to try the yelling technique from earlier, "WHY? WHY AREN'T THEY DONE?"
Child: "I just didn't feel like doing them" Oh no, my head began swaying from side to side, anger seething out of me, "Oh no she didn't just say that."
Me: "Do you KNOW how many things I DO every DAY that I just don't feel like DOING?"
Tom: "It's really important to do things from the heart, honey. Because when you come from a position of love, you can never go wrong."
Wait a minute, I'm thinking to myself. I am very busy making a point here about how life is tough, and you better just get over it, and Tom is on a Love Train parable?
Me, butting in, and putting a complete and utter stop to his Unicorn and Rainbow talk: "Do you think I enjoy making a hot breakfast EVERY day? Do you think I enjoy doing laundry? Do you think I enjoy cooking?"
Tom: "See honey, Mama does these things out of love for you. She knows she has to do them, but she does it with love in her heart."
I do?
Tom continued, and I knew better at this point, than to shut up and listen to him bring his point home.
Tom: "You know how I have all that paperwork upstairs, and I HATE doing it? I would much rather be with you, or your sisters, or your Mama. Well, it's part of my responsibility so that you can have a house to come home to, a bed to sleep in, and a Mom who can be home with you. So even though, I don't like doing it, I try to do it with love in my heart. And it's your responsibility to get your school work done."
Child: "Oh, so even though I may not want to do something, if I do it with love and a good attitude, it makes life a lot better, right?"
Shit...he's good. Listening to your child with an open heart, and disciplining accordingly? Yep, I'm pretty sure you will find that chapter in the parenting book. Tom Walsh Super Genius strikes again.
And we sort of balance each other out. Me yelling, and following through with an action plan. Tom, singing Cumbaya, and leaving our girls with a sense that he really "gets" them.
It all works out, right?
