Low Standards and High Hopes

Like many, as we begin week 3 of Shelter in Place, it feels like Groundhog Day.  We are left to make our own flexible routines, but still grasping to feel somewhat productive.  This is what I have realized:

1. A loose routine works for our family.  I have learned to leave in the morning to hit the trail, releasing any expectations I have of my children. I realize that Tom and I have laid the foundation, and at this point, we need to trust that these 5 girls will be responsible to navigate this new norm without micro-managing them. We have a few standards, but they are rather low at this point.  For example, Charlie's are: Brush hair and don clean underwear. These low expectations ensure everyone feels like a winner:) 

2.  We are walking through grief, not only as individuals, but as family units, within our communities, as a nation, and as an entire world.  Our lives have been stripped of all non-essentials, and left us with ample time to ruminate of what could have been.  What should have been.  I allow myself to dabble in the grief, feel it, and then move through it.  I know that if I stuff the dark cloud of despair and helplessness, this beast will manifest in my body in an unhealthy way.  And so the ugly cry serves as a release.  And sometimes, so does vodka.

3.  Self care is non-negotiable.  For me, that is daily meditation and prayer, moving in nature, and getting enough rest.  Giving myself permission to take care of me first, allows me space to walk with Emma, a Senior, who will most likely not have a Prom or graduation ceremony.  It gives space for Abby to vent about how her college has cut all athletic funding, and she has lost her athletic scholarship.  She is now looking for a new university to land in the fall.  And Bella, who is struggling with where she will go to school next year.  And Cozy...and Charlie...and Tom.

4. I am trying to remain grateful, but at times, it is difficult.  It is then I am reminded, we have our health, our steadfast faith, that our tribe is messy but united, and I know I am being molded to be of service to others.  It is then, I exhale, and say, "We are okay."

We can do this, but it will have to be together.  The irony is that social distancing is keeping us physically apart.  But you see, we are connected on a soul level. 

And nothing, not even the god damn COVID 19 can take that away.

If you are feeling lost, depleted, or without direction, please reach out to me at myvillagewell@gmail.com

You are not alone, dear one.